Defend Yourself

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Should I yell “FIRE!”?

So many of us have heard this: “Don’t scream ‘help,’ scream ‘fire.’” As a self-defense teacher of almost three decades, I disagree. Instead, I suggest yelling things like:

  • No!
  • Stop!
  • I’m being attacked–call 911!
  • This man is bothering me!
  • Get your hand off me!

Why? Well more than 80 percent of attacks on women and teen girls are by people we know. We’re most likely to be attacked on familiar ground: our homes, the homes of our attackers, school, work, social situations, etc. So we’re generally inside. If you’re in a building and yell “fire,” I hope most people will run outside, not run to the “fire.” Yelling “fire” inside can send help away.

Yelling if you’re being attacked serves several purposes. It can attract attention, it reinforces your message, and it can dissuade the attacker. For these second and third of these reasons, it’s more helpful to be yelling something consistent with what you want to happen (that the attacker should stop).

And I have personal experience: Before I studied self-defense, I was mugged in daylight on a major street with lots of people around. The attacker not only grabbed my purse, he also tackled me. I yelled “FIRE!” really loudly, and no one responded. So that’s another reason I don’t think yelling “fire” is effective: It didn’t work for me.

Of course I’m not opposed to anything that works! (And almost anything might work sometimes.) The most important thing is to yell — and yell loudly.

Where are your keys?

When you’re out and about, do you keep your keys out, ready to use as a weapon if you’re attacked? Having a “found weapon” (something around you that you can use to bolster your strikes) is a great idea, and keys are one of the best. But lots of people have gotten the idea that they should carry their keys interwoven between their knuckles, and that’s something that I, as a self-defense teacher of almost 30 years, think is a bad idea.

What’s wrong with carrying your keys between your knuckles? If you hit this way, you’ll find that the keys are unstable. They splay out in all different directions rather than going straight into the attacker as you would like. Some of them will fold back into the webbing between your fingers and will probably hurt you more than the attacker.

So what should you do instead? Carry your biggest key (usually a car key or a house key) the way you would carry it to unlock a door. That way you can thrust it directly at an attacker – their eyes or throat are good targets – and they key will be stable.

And if you don’t have a key like that (you’ve got a keycard, or one of those newfangled car entry system, or some such), don’t despair. A keycard (or credit card or driver’s license) makes a great weapon. You can slice with it across an attacker’s face (gross, I know, but these are high-stakes situations). You can thrust it into an attacker’s throat.

Other things you might have with you, such as a pen, a hairbrush, or a comb, also can make good weapons. I’ll bet you feel more confident walking around with one of those in your hand!

Have you ever had to use it?

Here’s what Lauren Taylor, director of Defend Yourself, has to say:

When people find out about my work, one of their most common responses is a question: Have you ever had to use it?

My answer: Every day.

Every day I use the habits of self-confidence that I have learned and polished through self-defense training. Pretty much every day I set a limit, tell someone what I want, ask for something to be different, or negotiate a better outcome.

Many days I probably avoid a potentially dangerous situation. Virtually every day I interrupt bias, or harassment, or being patronized, or a put down. Every day I ask someone–with words or without–to treat me with respect.

Every day I move through the world with more confidence and less fear because I know self-defense and because it has taught me to value myself and claim my space. It allows me to take risks and be who I really am.

That’s not what the people who ask the question really want to know. They really want to know if I have ever hit someone who was trying to hurt me. The answer to that question is no.

Since I learned self-defense, I have run away from one armed attacker, evaded an unarmed one, and I have gotten potential attackers and abusers to back off using my words, and I haven’t had to hit anyone. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t used my self-defense!

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Meet Lauren

Teacher, resister, advocate, warrior princess. Passionate about a world free of gender-based violence and people becoming their full selves. Loves chocolate, justice, and cats (not necessarily in that order).

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More safety, more confidence, more freedom, more fun!

Get our newsletter!

Sign up now for our monthly newsletter and you’ll also get our e-book with stories of real-life people standing up to harassment, abuse, and assault!

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Learn something now

  • Run,Yell,Tell, Hit, + Go Along
  • My journey to assertiveness
  • Strategies for safety
  • Should I yell FIRE!?!?
  • #9 Making self-defense a part of your life
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What people say

The teachers are nonjudgmental: they are not going to tell you that what you are doing is wrong.
This class has affected my life in many ways. I am now able to deal with many suppressed feelings. This is an opening for me. I finally allow myself to feel anger without blaming myself. I now realize I have the right to happiness and I will fervently fight whoever tries to take this.
To my surprise, I found the verbal parts of the class the most beneficial. Instead of just preparing us for the chance of an all-out attack, we learned skills that have been helping me to navigate more assertively through everyday situations. You helped all of us to view self-defense holistically, and asked us to question our role in making this world less violent.
I feel more confident, yet not complacent. I am learning to incorporate no into my everyday life.
This class showed me that . . . I have every right to defend myself and take care of myself the best way I know how. My first responsibility is to myself.
This class not only showed me how to defend my body, but it taught me how to express myself as well. It nurtured my soul and showed me that to be a woman does not mean that I am physically helpless.
This class was a springboard. Now I know where I need to go in the rest of my life.
Thank you for a wonderful class. I will spread the word around my high school and to every interested girl/woman I know!
What an empowering, enlightening class! You gave me a wonderfully empowering gift – the ability to speak! You helped take away some of the fear that I had by having me realize that I have some power within.
Thank you for such an empowering, confidence-inspiring class. When you first announced that the class would teach both verbal and physical defense, I was a bit hesitant – I presumed I already knew how to verbally defend myself, and thought I was ready to get down to more hard core self-defense moves.
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